BREAKING NEWS: We weren’t quite finished copying down the notes off that last slide could you please go back one

Humour breaking newsThe anguished cries of students have fallen upon deaf ears

By Rebecca Peterson, Humour Editor

 

Reports have been coming in from a fourth floor history class, stating that the professor has skipped ahead to the next slide in the PowerPoint before the students could finish copying down notes from the one before it.

“I think there was some important shit on there, too,” said one witness to the event. “I only got about halfway down the page.”

The incident occurred around noon, and so far has not yet been resolved.

“I put my hand up the moment it happened,” said one student, Lena McPhee. “I think the prof is doing that thing where she’s ignoring all questions until the end, though. I fear by then it will be too late.”

“It was bound to happen at some point,” said another student, Jennifer Park. “I mean, she’s been blitzing through this lecture like crazy. We’ve all been writing our hands off to keep up. Then our time with each slide got shorter and shorter, while we wrote faster and faster, but eventually… well, something had to give.”

The professor in question is known for her quick delivery of lecture material. According to students in her class last year, she managed to get through three textbooks worth of material all before reading break. Due to the snow days of early February, however, it seems the class has fallen behind on the syllabus schedule.

“I mean, it’s admirable, I guess,” said Park. “She does try to end class early when she can. But I honestly think it’s more important that we actually get the information down on paper.”

“I tried taking pictures of the slides with my phone to be safe,” said an ex-student, Jordan Jones. “But that’s not allowed, apparently. I mean, it didn’t help that I’d left the flash on by accident. She wasn’t too happy about that. But I told her even back then, right at the beginning, that she was going too fast. I tried my best to save the rest of the class, but it wasn’t enough… It wasn’t enough…”

According to many in the class, the professor does put her PowerPoint slides on Blackboard; however, she only keeps them up for an hour, and she never tells anyone when it goes up.

“I spent a week refreshing Blackboard, just waiting,” said McPhee. “Just in case. It went up at 9:57 p.m. on a Thursday night, and was down again before 11 o’clock rolled around. It’s just pure madness.”

The Other Press attempted to get a statement from the professor, but as far as we know, the reporter sent to collect this statement still has their hand up, and has not yet been called upon to speak.