Are YOU an organic carbon unit that is unable to withstand a nuclear blast??
Are YOU someone who watches the news??
Are YOU a person terrified about the possibility of a NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST?
THEN WE HAVE AN EPIC SALE FOR YOU!!
Bomb Shelters R Us is having a MEGA BLOWOUT SALE for the first time in almost 30 YEARS!!
Bomb Shelters R Us, Canada’s foremost provider of bomb shelters, is a trusted family company with a long history of not only making the threat of nuclear war a more manageable risk, but something to potentially look forward to! Our top-of-the-line, high-quality bomb shelters include all the amenities of modern living, from showers to refrigerators to gym rooms, as well as working internet and satellite TV (provided there is still someone left on the surface of the Earth to run the TV stations)!!
Our most loyal customers have taken time out of their hectic schedules to tell us what they think of our services, and the reviews are absolutely GLOWING:
“Honestly, my bomb shelter unit almost makes me wish the nuclear holocaust would just happen already. It’s warm, cozy, and private, and BSRU even painted the oppressive grey walls a cheerier shade of apricot sunset to brighten up the place. Thanks, BSRU!”
- Karen McCork, Winnipeg
“There’s a shower, a Jacuzzi, and a state-of-the-art sound system in my bunker. I’ve started piling all my DVDs, games, and hard drives full of pirated music and movies down there (as well as enough food to last through the nuclear winter). I’m set!”
- Andy Boom, Yellowknife
“My shelter has all the video games and board games I could possibly want in it, which is cool, I guess. I’m still kind of worried about the fate of the rest of humanity, though. I mean, these really aren’t all that affordable?”
- Mike LeMike, Location Unknown
But that’s where you’re wrong, Mike LeMike! Because this sale means that our shelters are 20 per cent, 30 per cent, in some cases a whopping 50 per cent OFF!!!!! You’re reading that right. 50 per cent OFF a HIGH-QUALITY, TESTED, ALL-CANADIAN BOMB SHELTER. You won’t find a better deal anywhere else, folks, you really won’t!!
CALL NOW to learn more about how you—YES YOU—can survive World War III with all your friends and family so that the human race has a chance of living on past this highly potential mass extinction event!!!!
BOMB SHELTERS R US CUSTOMER SERVICE: 1-800-555-BOOM