Now would be a good time to pitch that brilliant new idea to your boss. You better do it in the morning, however, because a house will fly right into your workplace in the afternoon.



When you get good vibrations, be sure to invite others to feel the vibration. It really is such a pleasing sensation, so sayeth the great philosopher Marky Mark.



You need to open yourself up to new possibilities. Your house always needed a makeover and with the kitchen vaporized due to some… sun, there’s no time like the present!



The future holds many exciting things for you! For example, did you know that you’ll soon be flying to Berlin to stand on trial for first-degree murder?



You’re feeling pretty conservative today. I suppose one would be, after seeing that naked chocolate twister orgy on your front lawn.



Today, your point of view will be shifted to second person. Did I mention that you are now in a Choose Your Own Adventure book? Let’s hope you make it to the good ending.



Your financial situation is in need of immediate attention after last night’s drunken eBay purchases. Remember that you can always sell yourself for rent money. Have a good hangover!



You need help being patient. Why don’t you become a fan of Dr.Dre? His Detox album is scheduled to come out a decade from now. Have fun waiting.



You have way too many Beanie Babies. Why don’t you just give then to Goodwill? The chances of them making a comeback are slimmer than Ty Inc.’s current profit margins.



Your romantic partner has a list of complaints about you. First of all, you never fetch them a newspaper and matching drink when they get home. By the way, at some point you time travelled to the 1960s.



Conflicting ideas are causing stress everywhere you go. The companies want to build a shopping mall on top of a neighbouring duck pond, but the suburbanites want to save the duck pond for the suburban heritage. Which side will you take?



An idea is like a revolutionary invention. You make that idea happen and a bunch of other people will come by to claim that they thought of it first.

With files from Livia Turnbull