George R. R. Martin admits he hasn’t actually started yet

Photo by Nick Briggs via Wikimedia
Photo by Nick Briggs via Wikimedia

‘Winds of Winter’ is only three words long

By Chandler Walter, Humour Editor

In what had many A Song of Ice and Fire and Game of Thrones fans were shocked last week when fantasy novel writer George R. R. Martin admitted that he hadn’t quite started the book yet.

A Song of Ice and Fire is a fantasy series that has been in progress since 1996, and though its writer, Martin, has taken his time releasing each volume, no one could have believed the five-year break that the writer would take after releasing the latest volume, A Dance with Dragons.

“I’m furious,” said long-time fan Ed Spark. “I mean I get that he takes his time and doesn’t like writing under a deadline, but come on!”

This is a low blow to fans of the fantasy series as well as the TV series based on the books, Game of Thrones, as Martin had been scheduled to finish the next volume of the series before the sixth season of the show came out in late April of this year. The writer posted on his blog early in 2016, explaining that the novel would not be finished in time for that release date, though many fans had taken that as a sign that he had at least put something down on paper.

Joe Smow, a follower of both the books and the TV show, found himself in quite the situation after the announcement: “I don’t even know what I’m going to do. Usually I like to read what the plot is before seeing it in the show; that way I can tell all my friends what would happen before it happened. I lost most of my viewing party after the Red Wedding, but it was worth it to feel superior to them in knowledge. Now what am I supposed to do!?”

Similar to his style earlier in the year, Martin dropped the bomb on his fans in a blog post, explaining that there has been no progress in his fictional world other than the few chapters he has released online.

“Haven’t even started WoW (that’s Winds of Winter, not World of Warcraft, you nerds). But I promise I totally mean to get around to it at some point!”

When asked about the pages he had already released during an interview, Martin elaborated. “I-I’m honestly not even sure if those are going to be in the final version,” Martin admitted. “I was feeling pressured, okay!? You try writing a series of novels featuring hundreds of characters, and knowing that at the end you have to brutally murder literally all of them! Oops, okay, you didn’t hear me say that. This is all off the record.”

Martin plans on starting Winds of Winter right after he finishes binge watching the first five Game of Thrones season in preparation for season six.

“Oh man I love that show,” he said. “And it’s great too, because whatever they come up with, I can just kinda write it down, and there ya go, best seller!”