Kinder Morgane Surprise?

Hint: the surprise is oil

By Sharon Miki, Humour Editor

In light of the ongoing dispute between pipeline company Kinder Morgane and environmentalists over a proposed oil pipeline, one entrepreneurial philanthropist is hoping to help ease tensions with a sweet little treat for all: the “Kinder Morgane Surprise.”

“Things are really getting heated, what with protestors being arrested and with Kinder Morgane so upset that they’re issuing multi-million-dollar lawsuits,” said chocolate enthusiast Cathy. “And I know that when I’m upset or stressed, chocolate always makes me feel better. Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate!”

Cathy’s proposed new cocoa-based delight resembles the childhood classic, Kinder Surprise, but with an updated twist: the surprise is oil.

“So basically I thought if I could just take a little bit of oil (not for eating, or course! Ack!) and wrap it up inside a cheap chocolate shell, and wrap it up all pretty, that it would be a nice piece of swag to bring the protestors and the pipeline enthusiasts together.

“When I was little and my brother and I would fight, we’d always make up over a nice Kinder Surprise. Why shouldn’t that work here? And the toy that everyone’s fighting over really is the oil, so it’s fitting.”

While Cathy has no opinion on the environmental impact of the pipeline, she is hoping that her Kinder Morgane Surprise idea takes off, so that she can find someone to help her turn her dream into reality.

“Right now, Kinder Morgane Surprise is still just in the idea phrase,” said Cathy. “I don’t have time to build human-safe prototypes of crude oil-and-chocolate treats at the moment.

“Ack!”