Zipping the lip to avoid social disaster
By Brittney MacDonald, Life & Style Editor
In this big bad world filled with overly sensitive crusaders, it’s important to know when you can ask that innocent question—and when to just keep your mouth shut! Pretty much anything you say can and will be used against you, so you might as well make it a little more difficult for people to misinterpret you by refusing to utter statements that are commonly associated with passive aggressive insults. So, here’s a list of 10 phrases it’s best to avoid.
- Wow, are you pregnant? Are you trying to call your friend fat?
- That’s definitely… exotic. Too often people use the term “exotic” in place of “terrible.”
- I’m not a racist, but… Nope, you’re a racist.
- I thought you knew! This is what people say after they’ve told you something they know they shouldn’t have.
- Have a nice day! Have you ever worked customer service? This is what people who have worked in retail or as front of house staff at a restaurant say when they just want you to leave.
- It’ll be good for you. If you are anywhere over the age of 13, having someone who is not your parent suggest they know what is best for you just sounds condescending.
- You should be more like me! No—at least not until that whole taboo on human cloning thing washes over.
- You look tired. Kind of like asking them if they’re pregnant, but instead of calling them fat, you’re just saying they look like they’re diseased.
- Are you sure you should be eating that? Unless I am a diabetic on the verge of a glucose induced coma with a piece of cake poised at my lips—never, ever should this ever come out of your mouth. No excuses!
- You’re being a little passive aggressive right now. Pointing out that someone is being passive aggressive is passive aggressive. It’s a subtle way of accusing them of attempting to trick you into agreeing with them. The best course of action when dealing with someone being passive aggressive is to completely ignore their attempts and do whatever the hell you want anyway—just pretend you’re oblivious to whatever signals they’re giving off.