Local action film fights for length

‘The opening credits alone could be an entirely separate movie’

By Naomi Ambrose, Staff Writer

Jeremy Jonders, the director of the upcoming superhero film The Amazing Adventures of Vancouver Girl, revealed that the movie will be Burrardo Studios’ longest film—and possibly the longest superhero film ever made.

“I heard that the upcoming Avengers movie is going to be three hours, so I figured our movie should have a run time of exactly three hours and five minutes,” said Jonders said in a live-streamed Q&A on his YouTube channel. “Having the longest movie is something that is very near and dear to my heart. And no, before you ask, I’m not overcompensating for anything. Everybody can stop bringing that up.”

Jonders explained that he, along with the film’s writers, assistant director, studio executives, and his mother Annie, decided lots of time needed to be taken to tell Vancouver Girl’s story.

“It’s a beautiful action-packed story that shouldn’t be rushed. If that means the whole first hour goes by without dialogue, so be it,” said Jonders, who stands at about 5’3 (in shoes).

Even the smallest details haven’t been overlooked in Vancouver Girl. Because of the attention to detail, the action within the action movie won’t start until around the halfway mark.

“Even the fighting style Vancouver Girl uses to defeat her archnemesis won’t be revealed until a good two hours have passed,” said Jonders. “The audience has seen dozens of superhero movies over the years, so I’m sure they can endure a couple of hours of close-up shots of buildings and trees instead. It’s really an artistic choice.”

He further explained that the special effects used in the usual car chases, sword fights, fistfights, and the epic battles on mountaintops really need to be slowed down for dramatic and emotional effects.

“At one point, all movement stops. The audience will basically be staring at a still photo of the actors. I’m all about length for this movie. All about the height—I mean, length.”

Other characters from the film really help flesh out the world of Vancouver Girl. “Vancouver Girl has a sidekick, Stanville Granville. He’s a really cool dude—really tall, too. Since you guys asked, he’s around 6’5. He also works part-time as a film director. And yes, Vancouver Girl and Granville find love at the end of the movie. Spoiler alert!”

Before leaving the conference, Jonders leaned close to the microphone with a twinkle in his eye.

“My executives told me not to reveal this, but I’m feeling risky. There’s a possibility that an additional five minutes might be added to the film. We really want to make it as tall—I mean long—as possible. Just to fully capture the film’s story. Because, you know, length is really what matters in this industry. God, I’m so much better than the Russo brothers.”

Reporters noted that when Jonders moved away from the podium, it appeared the director was wearing lifts.