Mi’lady Neckbeard

Image via Thinkstock
Image via Thinkstock

Age: Over 18 under 30

 

Occupation: Nice Guy

 

Looking For: Marriage and four kids.

 

About Me: I will treat you like a gentleman, and much better than those jerks that girls always seem to go for.

I am someone that your mother will love—I am super close with my mom as well, as I live with her. I am extra warm and cuddly, and my voice cracks are few and far between.

 

Interests: I run a blog on fedora tips and tricks.

I am also an otaku; Sword Art Online and Death Note are my favorite animes. I would like to watch more anime, but I only watch dubs over subs. Don’t send me North American animation, anime is far superior. I also read Homestuck.

I design My Little Pony body pillows. I can send you pictures, if you’d like. I consider myself quite the artist.

I enjoy food from all different cultures, such as Manchu Wok and Nando’s Chicken. I am looking for a girl that can cook. I do not cook, but rather appreciate the efforts from the cooks at the wonderful restaurants I order take out from.

I collect sick memes, such as rare Pepe’s and John Cena videos.

Big fan of hugs <3

 

Beliefs: I believe that public water is contaminated, so I only shower once per week. If you are worried that I may smell bad, I use lots of cologne. If you enjoy the scent of AXE, I am your man.

If you are religious, I can save you. I spend lots of time on the atheist threads on Reddit.

I am also a meninist. Feminists just want women to be superior to men. Rape culture is a myth; I’m just trying to be a nice guy. Tumblr is worse than cancer. 4Chan for life.

Gyms are just money-sucking institutions. I save money by lifting weights during my anime marathons.

 

Ideal first date: You can come over to my house and watch me play Minecraft or League of Legends. My mom makes some excellent quesadillas. If you want to get rowdy, I can also pick up some Mike’s Hard Lemonades and play some Green Day while you tickle my small but growing beard.

 

By Mercedes Deutscher, News Editor