A newer, tougher, and more ‘branded’ lifestyle
By EG Manilag, Staff Writer
I’m sure all of you are very excited, not just to go outdoors and play, but also to be in a classroom full of people to socialize with. Right? Sometimes, or all the time, we may hate the words “school” and “studying,” but I think what’s more dreadful is studying full time at home with limited choices of snacks and everything.
The only unlimited thing you have at home is your mom’s yapping since you didn’t scrub the back of the toilet. In short, coronavirus, please stop spreading.
The return of the Homo sapiens
Obviously, now that all barbershops are closed, many people—excluding baldies—are going to suffer the “Homo sapien” effect. AKA, Men may slightly look like Neanderthals.
The I Am Legend effect
After this horrifying pandemic, I’m very certain that some of you would feel entitled to act like Will Smith in the 2007 film I Am Legend. But instead of storing weapons, you would probably hoard sanitizer and toilet rolls. You would probably also use them to build your fortified, impenetrable, and untouchable castle—with empty paper roll tubes as your DIY binoculars.
Everyone will “love” fast food restaurants
After this deadly disease, when everything is open and safe, everyone would surely dive first into dining rooms for a chill place to hangout. For instance, McDonald’s will be full—not for their food, of course! Just their dining rooms.
COVID generation: The new baby boomers
Because of this long and enduring isolation, the young, old, semi-old, and semi-young couples will be left with nothing to do but sex—creating unwanted offspring. This phenomenon is truly happening because many were too busy stockpiling toilet papers to buy any contraceptives. In 13 years time, we will definitely witness the rise of QUARANTEENS.
No “bless you” anymore
“Bless you” would be no more. People would become fishy rather than friendly if they find you sneezing. And instead of saying “bless you,” they’d probably just be silent while doing the “I will kill you” gesture while violently staring at you.
Introverts will be justified
Before, introverts were easily identified. Now, they will simply be misjudged as ordinary folks following social distancing protocols. Finally! Introverts can now freely walk the streets without the fear that they’ll be shamed if they don’t greet back.
Basic hygiene products will be more targeted in their branding
become more and more health conscious, we’ll probably treat our health the way
we treat our fashion sense. I’m talking about designer stuff, like designer
facemasks, designer toilet paper rolls, and hella expensive hand sanitizers.
Honestly, I wouldn’t
be surprised if giant companies like Nike, Adidas, Coca-Cola, Apple, and
Samsung rebranded some essential hygiene products. For Apple, they would
probably advertise their innovative “Sanitizer Pro Max” that will obviously have
its nozzle sold separately. And for Samsung, they would probably endorse their
flagship “Toilet Paper Galaxy,” which, like the rest, is water-resistant. How
cool is that?