There’s no time like your late 20s to catch up on missed opportunities
By QQ S. O’Doherty, Contributor
High school was a boring, tedious time. I woke up at seven am, had cereal every day, went to school, came home, watched TV, did homework, went to sleep, then repeated the same thing for five years. One thing hasn’t changed, though. I still watch TV every day, and it makes me miserable.
Everyone in high school dramas live a life of extremes. They have five years of romance, passion projects, popularity, and being iconic. Thus, I’ve concluded that I must re-enact some of teen TV’s classic moments to make up for my own lack of high school memories.
For my first new memory, I wanted to start strong. What better way to kick off my reinvention than re-enacting the one and only Manny Santos of Degrassi? Degrassi alone is what I always envisioned my teenage years to be like, so this was definitely a good starting point.
It should be noted that the peak of living an intense and emotional teenage career is based mostly off of attention. Like a tree falling with no one to hear it, what’s the point of pulling shenanigans if there’s no one to watch them?
Manny Santos was an icon, especially for the scene where she wore low rise jeans with a strappy thong peeking out onto her hip bones. While she did this in her school, I decided to try this in a mall.
Flash forward, I’m currently writing this part in a mall, wearing none other than a bright pink thong, being a very shameless version of myself. I’m hiding in the washroom now due to the attention I’ve received so far (note: it hasn’t been positive). I guess I was successful at garnering it in the first place though, so that’s a win.
Most people have been staring uncomfortably, others angrily, but the look of disgust is apparent in everyone. A couple people yelled some jabs, including “Get out of here, you freak!” and “There’s children here!” I guess this should’ve been expected in a public mall, but I was still uselessly hopeful. Perhaps this would work better in a club. Nonetheless, onto my next experimental life revamp.
For my second scene I invited my ex from a few years ago to meet up for drinks to catch up. It was going well, and they’re doing pretty good for themselves too. However, I came here on a mission, so hesitantly, I got up and began my recreation of Claire and Eli’s break-up fueled argument in Degrassi. In this case, I was the Claire. I took a deep breath and began yelling:
“Did five months mean nothing? Did you flip a switch and erase me from your memory? It took you a year! A year to get over your ex! Did you ever love me at all?” I yelled (loud), hushing all the people around us. My ex, clearly embarrassed and uncomfortable, didn’t say anything. With perfect timing, security came up to me and told me I was done and ushered me out of the bar. Although my ex stayed in, I messaged her apologizing afterwards, but I think explaining what I was trying to do might’ve proved to be more embarrassing than having that kind of breakdown in the first place, so I left it there.
That last situation tired me out. I hadn’t received any praise from strangers, and after that last scene, I figure I’ll try something a little more in my comfort zone.
I’m now writing this on the green field of a semi-local country club golf course. I’ve timed it to do this during cloudy weather, and so as I look up at the sky, that’s all I see. “Bet On It,” from High School Musical 2 has been noted as the most angst-ridden song of the movie series, so with similar emotions boiling up in myself, re-enacting this music video felt like the perfect way to end off my renewed teenage years memories.
Flash-forward, I’m now in the washroom of this country club. I started strong, and I hit that musical change perfectly when I sang, “I’m not gonna stop! Not gonna stop ‘til I get my shot,” but that’s around when I got cut off by a golfer a while away yelling across the court for me to shut up. Disappointed, but not wanting to ruin someone’s game, I packed it up and came to the washroom to debrief.
Overall, re-living high school in what was supposed to be a more fun and exciting time turned out to be way worse than what I’d imagined, as well as worse than my actual high-school years. I guess we really should leave the past in the past.