
KaraâNoâke
By Craig Allan, Business Manager
âKaraoke is only for bad singers.â
A ruckus broke out at a Vancouver karaoke establishment Friday night, when a woman was kicked out for in fact being multi-Grammy winning performing artist Taylor Swift.
Swift, who was in town filming a movie, decided to give patrons of a local karaoke bar a surprise by dressing up as her sad-sack character from âYou Belong with Meâ and infiltrating a karaoke group enjoying the activities of bad singing, off-kilter lyric reading, and awkwardness under the name Traylor Schmitt. Acting nervous at first, she then requested to sing âShake It Off,â âBlank Space,â and what was later discovered to be a playlist filled entirely with Taylor Swift songs. As she stood up to sing, she removed the wig and glasses to reveal who she wasâand then began belting out her signature tune.
Some in the group were excited to see Swift performing her songs live for the group, but others were not impressed. âSheâs too good at singing that song because itâs her song,â said patron Samuel Hogan. âThatâs not fair. Karaoke is only for bad singers. If she wants to sing for people, go find a stage!â said Hogan. The bar appeared to have agreed with this sentiment, so they kicked her out of the bar for singing her own songs in such fantastic quality.
âWe cannot have good singers coming in hereâ stated owner Kazahero Securu. âIt will ruin karaoke. Karaoke is for bad singers to sing the great songs and laugh and have fun. If a good performer and singer comes in, it ruins it for everyone. The karaoke bar is for bad singers and a home for the most awkward.â When asked if Swift would ever be allowed back, the owner said she would, as long as she âtones down the talent.â
Some in the party though were supportive of Swiftâs deception. âItâs Taylor Swift singing Taylor Swift songs. How can you not want to watch that?!â said amazed observer Carolyn Jarvis.
Swift could not be reached for comment, but one source was said that she was devastated by the decision. The source also said that she could have been laughing at how ridiculous the whole situation was, so her feelings towards this event cannot be confirmed.
When interviewing the establishment, someone walked in under a disguise that clearly looked like artist Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas. My suspicions were confirmed when she went into a room and chose âLondon Bridge,â âBig Girls Donât Cry,â and âClumsy.â When I pointed this out to Securu, he said he is not concerned, saying âOh sheâs fine. Remember, to participate in karaoke, I said you have to be a bad singer and couldnât be famous! We already made sure to take the American national anthem off of the playlist, because, well, you know why.â
For any recording artists looking to impress a group with their lyrical gift, Securu is sending a clear message that they are not welcome to his karaoke stage.Â