Anonymous Student explained in their missive that they have been telepathic their whole life, and thus have had to contend with the imaginations of others interfering with their waking thoughts ever since they were born.
A local Tim Hortons customer made headlines the other day after winning a free Honda Civic in the popular nation-wide contest.
“Jackie F. Rostman immediately stood out to us as a suspect. I mean, really? ‘Jackie F. Rostman?’ Jack Frost? A two-year-old could have come up with that.”
According to students in her class last year, she managed to get through three textbooks worth of material all before reading break.
Bomb Shelters R Us, Canada’s foremost provider of bomb shelters, is a trusted family company with a long history of not only making the threat of nuclear war a more manageable risk, but something to potentially look forward to!
“I regret to inform you that I have lost the ability to laugh or experience joy. This, as you might well imagine, is not the ideal condition for a humour writer.”
There is an offensive amount of pink in the world. It mocks you. The very concept of chocolate, of love, of happiness mocks you.
“That man can go straight to Hell, quite frankly, and I won’t even gaze forlornly upon him as one of my lost children when he succumbs to the darkness.”
