A ghastly gourd origin story
By Craig Allan, Staff Writer
On a late October evening, police were called to a residential house in Lawrenceville. What the police found was a chilling site. A family dead inside. Their blood covered the house from the floor to the ceiling. Intestines twirling on the fan, a torso in the fireplace, and body parts burning in the living room on a makeshift fire. This was not an unknown person who killed this family. It was the work of famed serial killer Charlie “The Creature” Kowalski. Kowalski had been on the radar of the police in the province for years, but he has never been caught. His name had first appeared on police reports when he was 18 years old—he was convicted of murdering his neighbour’s pet dog. Kowalski was unrepentant in that crime, just like he was of any of the crimes which he had committed over the next 20 years. These crimes run the gambit from murder, burglary, arson, and forcible confinement. Each time though, Kowalski had been able to avoid capture. He was as fast as the wind, and as invisible too.
After this heinous crime, Kowalski found himself on the run again. Wandering into a pumpkin patch, with no way out, Kowalski needed to think of a way to get out of the area without the cops knowing. He remembered one time seeing a county fair, where people carved out big pumpkins and raced them through the local river. Kowalski, seeing that there was one big pumpkin in the field, decided that this would be a perfect getaway. He was already great at disemboweling people, so a pumpkin should be no trouble. Over the next two days, Kowalski carved and scooped out the pumpkin’s innards until the inside was hollow. This placed him with the hollowed out pumpkin ready to set sail on Halloween night. Because it was Halloween, the police were on high alert in the town to make sure no kids were harmed, so they weren’t going to be looking at the river. In the cloak of darkness, he rolled the pumpkin down to the river next to the farm and set sail. However, there was one item Kowalski forgot though. It was an ore.
With no ability to steer the pumpkin, Kowalski found himself at the mercy of the river. As he buoyed down the river, he was thrashed around inside the pumpkin. Kowalski wasn’t worried though, as he knew that once he made it out to sea, he could land on an island, and wait there until the heat died down. As Kowalski saw the Gateway Bridge, which was the last landmark before the ocean, Kowalski was dealt a crushing blow. A jagged rock pierced the pumpkin, and through his leg. As instantly as the rock pierced through his leg, it cut right through, separating his leg from his body. The pumpkin then tipped over and began filling with water, sending Kowalski to his watery grave.
As this was happening, teenagers were launching fireworks off the bridge. When a truck carrying hazardous material honked at them to get out of the way, one of the handheld fireworks that they were holding went off directly at the driver’s side window. Disoriented, the driver turned into the barrier, and the truck fell to the river below. As the tanker laid down in the water, a hole was punctured in it from a rock. The same rock that cut Kowalski’s leg off. The hazardous material, combined with Kowalski’s blood, and his corpse rotting in the pumpkin, created an even worse monster.
As the teenagers ran off, one teen filled with concern went down to check on the wreckage. As he got to the shore, an arm came out of the water and grabbed his leg. That is when the Pumpkin Creature struck. As the teenager screamed for help, the large pumpkin crawled up towards the boys’ head. The boy stared into the darkness of the pumpkin hole before the head of the dead Kowalski came out and bit his face off before devouring the rest of his body.
The Pumpkin Creature tried to get out of the river but instead would begin to rot away the farther it was from the water. Now every fall, when the weather is just crisp enough, parents tell their children not to go near the Gateway Bridge, so that they don’t incur the wrath of the Pumpkin Creature!