By Chandler Walter, Distribution Manager
- “So hold up, we’re watching the film adaption of the book that was created from the erotic fan fiction of another book that was terrible? Just trying to get my facts straight here.”
- “I still get my mom to cut my hair, and even I know those bangs are a no-go.”
- “What’s this chick still doing with a flip phone? Hello, 2007 called, they’re saying that even they had iPhones.”
- “I really hope that the old man in front of me is waiting for his wife/younger mistress/anyone to show up and watch this thing with him.”
- “Heh, bush.”
- “Probably the most romantic thing a man can do is show up unannounced at a location he hadn’t been told about and whisk the damsel away from friends/family/future plans, apparently.”
- “So you can buy this girl a new laptop, new car, offer her a home, yet she’s still rocking a Motorola Razr? Why is this bothering me so much?”
- “Say all you want about the guy, but you gotta respect this man’s knowledge of knots. Someone paid attention in cub scouts.”
- “‘Laters, baby’ has officially become my new catchphrase.”
- “Aaaaand it’s over. I guess. Wait what? Will she ever sign the contract? What happened to him as a child!? There is literally no resolution to any of the plot, if you can even call it that. Damn it, gonna have to read the trilogy now.”
