Extremely niche adult video categories
By Richard Dick, Senior Columnist
As human society has progressed, our technology has seen many spectacular strides. Space travel, modern medicine, and environmental sustainability are a few of the most spectacular of our achievements. Our most significant is undoubtedly porn though. And we REALLY have achieved what was once only the fever dream of our poor, blue-balled ancestors. There’s a sexy video on everything for everyone; there are too many categories to keep track of. Here are a few little known categories that live deep in the search engines of XXX websites.
Forklift certified
People with forklift certifications operating forklifts safely. These videos are the complete opposite of those fail videos with forklifts. Nothing kinky here—that’s simply too dangerous.
Correcting people’s grammar
Videos where people correct the grammar of others. Of course some asshole is jerking off to this.
Zooey Deschanel
This category consists of girls saying things that could be construed as quirky, making them a million times hotter. “Compilation of girls explaining how much they love The Smiths” is a popular video in this category.
Awkward silences
For sadists.
Porn stars that are actually phenomenal actresses
Statistically speaking, I guess SOMEONE had to actually care about this.
