What will they think of next?
By Morgan Hannah, Life & Style Editor
Imagine: it’s the year 2021, and the unbelievable has happened—COVID-19 is still around. The world has long ago transformed into something very different than you remember, and it really is a shame. This new world is one where minor adjustments of inconvenience are commonplace practices, such as the elimination of public displays of affection.
If you like someone and want to get physical, y’all gotta wait it out two weeks in separate rooms, then quarantine together. Relationships have never been under so much strain before. And booty calls? Well, those are all butts out the window. It’s not all bad though, they’ve invented toe tappers instead of sidewalk crossing buttons—now that’s really thinking afoot! And there has been a boom in the face fashion industry with custom couture masks from the post-apocalyptic accessories line. Helping to curb “speaking moistly.”
Certain non-essential services, such as clothing retailers, are now steadily working as online ambassadors for their favourite brands. Who knew that “outfit of the day” videos would become so popular! And thousands of jobs have been created and filled with restaurant servers employed as food delivery drivers. They’ve even taken on the use of webcams so you can still find and flirt with your favourite server! Also, fast-food is at an all-time high, with the consolidation of food giants into large food-court style drive-thrus! Fish, lizards, and sphynx cats have become the top pets in the world—anything without hair, really. Cuddly dogs are strictly service animals now—dutifully delivering groceries to the elderly.
Yes, it’s a new world out there, one where everyone has had to sacrifice something to take part. But, we’re all working together, and one of these days we’ll have a vaccine and life as we know it will be back to normal. Let’s just hope that it doesn’t take until 2021.