The struggle in choosing the right hair gel

I’m gonna wash that gel right outta my hair
By Brandon Yip, Senior Columnist

Hair today, gone tomorrow. Not sure what that means? As the late Don Rickles always said, “Uh, anyway!” I have been thinking about guys and their grooming regimens when comes to taking care of their hair—and especially what products most guys use and put in their cheveux.

I have always used hair gel to comb and style my hair. I once tried using mousse and that worked about as well as Donald Trump wearing a mask to avoid getting COVID-19. Nonetheless, I remember my father having a tube of hair gel in our bathroom. It was light blue, but not as blue as the 2000 Flushes automatic toilet cleaning product. I recall as a kid putting this sticky bluish substance in my hair. It was slimy but I remember that it did not smell grotesque whatsoever. There was a hint of a scent that was almost perfume-like and pleasing.

I once tried using mousse and that worked about as well as Donald Trump wearing a mask to avoid getting COVID-19.

Hair gel, for the most part, is not unhealthy to use. On the official Head and Shoulders website, it states that using hair gel will lead to buildup, greasiness, and flakes from overuse (sounds very appealing!) However, it is important that people who use hair gel on a regular basis wash their hair thoroughly. Not doing so can lead to a combination of gel buildup and oil on the scalp. Head and Shoulders offers this tip: “If you’re using gel every day you may need to wash your hair with shampoo moreoften too.” Thanks, Captain Obvious!

I remember being at London Drugs (pre-pandemic) and trying to find what hair gel was best suited for my hair. I recall seeing copious amounts of different hair products. There were gels, mousses, pomades, clays, molding waxes, glues, etc. I really had no idea what hair gel would suit my follicle needs. So, I opted and grabbed a bottle of dippity-do. It is honestly a stupid name, the type of name that makes you wonder if Snoop Dogg was the person chosen to come up with this ridiculous name. He would probably say, “Ya ba dabble dizzle, fo shizzle my sizzle nizzle. Don’t let your hair look like doggie poo, put in some dippity-do—so your date won’t leave you!”     

Yes, that’s what I use, dippity-do. Honestly, I can’t tell the difference between a good hair gel and a bad hair gel. They’re all the same to me! I mean, if you use a hair gel and your hair starts falling out—probably a good idea to stop using it! Also, there was the type of hair gel Cameron Diaz’s character had used in the movie, There’s Something About Mary, but I digress!

Oddly, a long time ago I tried using Brylcreem. It is a decision I sure regret. I remember putting it in my hair. It was white like mayonnaise and runny like it had been diluted with whatever questionable substances were added. The next day, my pillowcase was soaked with Brylcreem. It made a paper towel soaked with bacon appear dry. What the hell was in that crap that Elvis, James Dean, and other guys from the 1950s marinated their hair with? I would have been better off using the expired oil that was removed from my recent oil change!

I would just use whatever gel you are comfortable with. Hopefully, you will have selected a decent gel (not the one Cameron Diaz used). And if your hair is not oily the next day like a newly cooked hot batch of fried chicken, then keep using it.