Confession: Iâve sent nude photos.
They were a handful of pictures of my breastsâall slightly out of focus but clear in their revealing natureâwhich I sent to my then-boyfriend. While I own up to the fact that I made that choice, itâs also a choice Iâm not happy with having made: the context behind my choosing to hit send on a series of blurry Snapchats was convoluted, and left me feeling anxious as I watched that perky, bouncing ghost icon.
He never took screenshots as far as I know, but of course Iâll likely never know (since Snapchat is renowned for not being particularly dependable or safe). I regret what I did, and know that I could conceivably be punished for my choices; but particularly following the recent series of leaked celebrity photos, I wonder why weâre collectively punishing and shaming people for a violation of their bodies and privacy.
Technologyâs pervasive presence in every nook and cranny means that the decision to share something privately has become a public matter. Well, the public has weighed in, and apparently the victims of the mass nude photo leak are to blame: these women created the contentâalthough it was their personal property, created for personal-use or to share with trusted partnersâand itâs their fault someone violated their property, privacy, and bodies.
I donât think Iâor any other person who takes nude photosâdeserve punishment for trusting someone I thought I cared about. I donât think I should be shamed for sending two-second Snapchats to my then-boyfriend. I wasnât asking for anything.
As Luke OâNeil writes for Esquire.com, â[M]ost of the people who consume these [leaked photos] and trade them back and forth like young men might have done with prized baseball cards in a previous generation would scoff at the suggestion that thereâs any analogy to be made here to rape. Much like weâve seen in nearly every other realm, however, our ethics here have not caught up to the technology. Very few of us would hide in the bushes outside of a woman’s home in order to catch a glimpse of her getting changed, but how is that any different from this?â
Well, some of our ethics have caught up with the technology: as Farhad Manjoo tweeted, âIâve never heard anyone respond to financial hacking by saying, Just donât use online banking. Thatâs what you get for using credit cards.â
The more we dust off that old accusation that âYou were asking for it,â the less apt it becomes. This victim-blaming is an outdated accusation, though we continue to apply it to different situations of violation: women who take nude photos, women who drink âtoo much,â women who wear short skirts, women who go out alone at night, and women who leave their door unlocked. As Lena Dunham tweeted, âSeriously, do not forget that the person who stole these pictures and leaked them is not a hacker: theyâre a sex offender.â
We take these womenâs leaked bodies for inspection, ogling, and ridicule. We belittle their forethought and intelligence when they get âcaughtâ taking nude pictures (as if theyâre the criminals), yet say astoundingly little of the people who hacked their property. We feel entitled to these womenâs bodies, and to judge them unmercifullyâhowever unfair that judgment.
The reason we say these women were asking for it is because we want to feel safe and complacent in the thought that we know better, that weâre immune. In reality, you donât know when youâre vulnerableâthatâs what makes you vulnerable. An unknown person could hack into your laptop camera without your knowing, and a peeping tom could spy on you through your window.
We persist in excusing criminals in the same waysâslut- and victim-shaming is astoundingly commonplace in our discussions of violation. Our world is changing, making the private public and facilitating judgment from the peanut gallery, but it doesnât justify shrugging and laughing in the face of crimes.
Hello gorgeous,
Natalie Serafini
