Kids born in the 2000s now on roads, police warn
“We know that it’s a frightening time to be driving, especially for the seniors out there, but we can assure the public that we are doing everything in our power to keep traffic as safe as possible.”
Category: HUMOUR
Filmmakers continue to bravely insist on making the majority of their films male-centric
“Like, how many female characters and female-led storylines do you want? Half? In what world is that realistic?”
Student who finished first too nervous to hand in test, class stalls
“It’s now been 143 hours and 17 minutes. They could have written their midterms, finals, and 20-page research papers by now.”
You can now get official certification in mansplaining
Never use “in my opinion,” “I think,” or show any leniency or doubt, because you have to make her realize that she only thinks the way she does because she doesn’t know any better.
Women wearing short skirts in this weather are better, stronger than I am
They are not beholden to the whims of the weather. They are made of stronger stuff than most.
The great salt wars
We were our own worst enemies, at the beginning of it all, though the war that would befall us was one that no one could have possibly foretold.
Local student confidently gives wrong answer in class, disintegrates from shame
“I would say the disintegration was an act of mercy.”
Fiery Eye of Sauron appears above Surrey Central building
Sauron’s appearance has led to discontent among many renters and landowners around the Surrey Central area.
Alcohol sales spike in anticipation of Trump’s inauguration
I pretty much threw in the towel sobriety-wise when Pissgate happened.
Sex, Drugs, and Rock n’ Roll have broken up
“I don’t want to limit myself, but I’d like to settle down a little bit. I guess I just miss that ol’ fashion Rock n’ Roll.”