Surprise! Guy you hate invited to your birthday party

‘Who invited this guy?’ You seriously ponder
By Richard Dick, Contributor

In the news this week, you had a surprise birthday party thrown by the close friends you love. The main surprise of evening was that one guy you hate was at your party.

“Happy birthday!” Exclaimed the guy you hate. Did he even know that your birthday is in three weeks? Does he even know how old you are? Probably not.

The Other Press interviewed people on the scene to get a sense of the party and why this guy was there.

“Do I know this guy? Not really, I’m pretty sure that the birthday boy dislikes him. You didn’t hear that from me though—promise that this is off the record” says Sarah Jensen, girl at the party who is good friends with the guest of honour. Seems like she knew.

“The more the merrier!” said David Bellingham, someone who clearly has not seen how unmerry more really is.

When you were doing your rounds thanking everyone for coming, the guy you hate said “It’s seriously no problem.” Did he really think you were thanking him? Our reporters go straight to the source to find out.

“Well yeah, it definitely was an effort to get out here but anything for my good buddy boy here,” says the guy you despise. It’s your fault for being nice to him that one time, you think.

Eventually, you have the single conversation you are obliged to have with every single patron of your party (you didn’t ask for this). The two of you talk about the promotion he didn’t get at work—that isn’t a surprise. Soon after your conversation, you realize you can’t find him. It was a pretty good party actually!