#Lovehim #Couplegoals is not #cute
By Jessica Berget, Opinions Editor
I believe there needs to be a level of privacy about what you share online with, and about, your significant other. Although there is no harm in sharing posts about your partner once in a while, there is such a thing as oversharing.
Posting intimate photos of the both of you kissing, cuddling, canoodling, or doing daily activities is not something I or anyone else wants to see. It’s not cute or romantic, and you’re not #couplegoals. You’re just making other people uncomfortable and it could be a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
There should be boundaries for what people are allowed to post on social media. No one wants to see you swap spit with your significant other while scrolling through their newsfeed. Those kinds of photos need to be left for you and your partner’s eyes only. If it were up to me, couples who post about themselves kissing, laying in bed together, or engaging in any behaviour that should be kept private would be outlawed. I think it’s obnoxious, annoying, and kind of gross that someone feels the need to document and share their romantic gestures with the world. These are things you should share with each other, not with the public.
But enough about what I think. Turns out, constantly posting about your partner in this way can actually be a downfall to your relationship. Focusing on the likes and comments you receive on romantic posts as validation for your partnership is not healthy.
Sexologist and relationship expert Nikki Goldstein has attested to this.
“Often it’s the people who post the most who are seeking validation for their relationship from other people on social media,” she said to the Daily Mail Australia. “The likes and comments can be so validating that when someone is really struggling, that’s where they get their up from—not from the person making the gesture, but what other people will say about it.”
Relationships need private moments and memories to survive, whereas constantly posting about your partner eradicates any sense of privacy.
It’s not just Goldstein saying this—other studies have echoed this conclusion. Research by Brunel University in London found that people who post updates about their romantic partner are more likely to have low self-esteem. Additionally, a study by the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that those who felt less secure about their partners’ affections tended to share more about their relationships on social media. This research suggests that those couples who make frequent intimate and romantic posts might be making them not out of love, but out of a need for validation.
People should be focused on making meaningful connections and memories with their partners, not on posts and how many likes they’re getting. It turns what could be an important relationship into one that is shallow and in need of validation—and that’s not healthy.