Nothing’s cuter than your four-year-old saying ‘On your knees and give me candy’
By Livia Turnbull, Halloween Costume Advisor
Finding a good costume for kids can be hard, especially when the stores are all sold out of Angry Birds and Star Wars outfits. However, before some parents fall back to traditional monsters for costume ideas, they should check out some 50 Shades of Grey costumes for their kids.
50 Shades of Grey, the erotic thriller popular with middle-aged suburban housewives, was never thought to be marketable towards kids—until this year. The innovative company, Ohgawdno, has recently begun manufacturing children costumes based on the characters from the series.
“My wife loves those books,” says Jack Decadense, CEO of Ohgawdno. “She wishes for a Christian Grey of her very own. I came up with children costume ideas when she started to go to those 50 Shades of Grey parties with our five-year-old son.”
The costumes of Christian Grey are just flying off the shelves this year, primarily due to middle-aged women buying them at an alarming rate. The Other Press managed to get an interview with one middle-aged woman at a local Walmart who was in the process of buying two costumes for her sons.
“Aren’t these costumes just precious?” Terri Harecurlur, a sexy housewife looking to spice up her sex life cooed as her eyes kept darting back towards the costume with a lustful gleam. “Look here, these floggers play ‘The Flower Duet’ when you push a button on them!”
When asked about the morality of these new children’s costumes, Harecurlur had this to say: “I don’t think these costumes are bad for kids. I mean, Indiana Jones carries a whip and Luke Skywalker carries a lightsaber. When we give those kinds of costumes to kids, it teaches them that running around with weapons is okay. 50 Shades of Grey, however, teaches kids about the sacrifices one must make for love to make it last.”
Along with manufacturing Christian Grey costumes, Ohgawdno has also made some Ana Steele costumes as well.
“I think Fifty Shades of Grey teaches some very good lessons to little girls as well,” says Harecurlur, “it teaches them that purity must be kept until you meet a man that’ll make you forget who you were before. The books have Ana get everything from Christian and I think today’s girls should be taught the same thing. After all, thinking and working are hard. Why bother doing that when you can just have a rich man to take care of you?”