Horoscopes

Fill in your own destiny!

By Isabelle Orr, Entertainment Editor

 

Give the stars a break! Find out how your week will go by filling in the blanks to your own horoscope. The answers might (not) surprise you!

 

Aries

Uh oh, you’ve forgotten to complete your (pressing task)! Don’t worry, (friend) will come through for you. After you’ve completed (pressing task from before), treat (friend from before) to a fine meal of (your favourite snack) and three episodes of (television show that you love but friend hates).

 

Taurus

The best things in life are (dollar amount)! That’s right, you’ll need some extra cash this week for your trip to the (fun thing you can’t afford right now). Pick up some spare coin by selling some (thing you have too much of) online. With all of that spare (thing you have too much of) gone, you’ll have a pocketful of cash and some extra space to put some new (thing you have too much of)!

 

Gemini

You’re pretty drained this week, so why not take some time to yourself and (sad lonesome activity). Put on some (sad music) and relax, thinking about (sad thing) and (person you once thought you were in love with). While you’re crying, remember that this is only temporary and next week you’ll be able to (thing that is still pretty sad but better than the aforementioned sad thing).

 

Cancer

It’s your lucky week! You’ll finally be able to catch up on all of your (urgent matters) and will do so in (small number) hours. After that, your time is your own! Feel free to explore (park or neighbourhood) with (good friend). If you’re feeling industrious, spend this time catching up on (other urgent matters) for next week. Or don’t! It’s up to you.

 

Leo

Thinking about (stressful thing)? Don’t! It should be out of your mind by (midweek day). Relax, but don’t forget about (deadline) that comes on (weekend day). By allowing yourself a bit of time to unwind, you’ll be better prepped for (deadline).

 

Virgo

Love is in the air! (Crush) is sending out some seriously flirty vibes. Reach out to them by messaging them on (social media). Let them know you’re thinking about them by liking their (social media post) or sending a (flirty emoji). With a bit of luck and confidence, you’ll be (sexual act) by the end of the week!

 

Libra

It’s time to take a good, hard look at (thing you’re not great at doing). It’s impacting your life in a negative way, so take small steps by (positive small goal) and (slightly more positive small goal). If you know this isn’t your strong suit, reach out to (mature family member) for some sage advice. They’ll be glad to give it and you’ll be (positive emotion)!

Scorpio

Get ready to take a trip to (travel destination)! Not quite yet, though. Though a trip to (travel destination) is within your grasp, it’ll need some careful planning. Enlist your best bud (friend) to help you track your trip, and spending! You’ll need at least (big amount of money), so make sure to track your budget for the next (number) weeks!

 

Sagittarius

Because of the (bad weather circumstance), you’ve been extra sluggish lately. Get that serotonin pumping by doing some (physical activity)! The endorphins will blast you into overdrive, and you won’t feel guilty for indulging in some (savoury treat) later on this week. Maybe some (sweet treat) too!

 

Capricorn

Party! People have been inviting you to (social function) all month. Now’s the time to cash in on all those invites! Ask (close friend) to attend (music show) or hit up (local bar) to play some (bar game). Don’t feel like going out? Host your own soiree and invite (good friend), (other good friend), and (other friend that is not as good as the other ones and you kind of make fun of them).

 

Aquarius

You’ve been watching too much (bad TV show) lately, and it shows. Have you been getting into confrontations with people? Try getting back to nature to chill out. Hit up (outdoor hike) or (big body of water) to relax. Spending some time alone could be exactly what you need to let off some steam.

 

Pisces

Challenge yourself to finish your (thing you’ve been putting off) by the end of the week! If it’s giving you trouble, try cutting it into (number) part and checking them off one by one. Feel free to reward yourself with (food item) to make the time go by faster. You’ll be finished—and full!—by the time you’re done.