The gift of my unknowing was simply that every challenge made my blood pump and my ego build.
I’m a magician just trying a new trick
By Matthew Fraser, Editor in Chief
I have heard that if you know how the magic trick is done you can never see the trick the same way again. It’s as if as soon as you know the steps and the moment the card disappears into the magician’s sleeve you’re just counting down, going through the motions and waiting for it to happen. All too similarly, I think I was ruined the day that I learned anxiety and excitement are nearly identical in your brain.
The gift of my unknowing was simply that every challenge made my blood pump and my ego build. Everything was an opportunity, and I had the invincibility of youth and hubris on my side. The world was beautiful, I could leap tall buildings, I could build great things and failure was a word that other people used to describe the realization that they weren’t me.
But nothing is for certain except for death and taxes and nothing last forever except eternity so I had to grow up. Just like every other boy, I had to transition into a man. And with that transition comes knowledge, whether you like what you learn or not.
I don’t know when it was that I learned it, I don’t know how I learned it, but one day I found out that anxiety and excitement are the same as far as chemicals are concerned. As Svetlana Whitener of Forbes reports, “Both feelings produce an elevated heart rate and a feeling of butterflies in your stomach.” If not quite overnight, challenges became daunting, my blood pumped agitation and my ego feared humiliation. There were too many opportunities for embarrassment and disappointment. Hubris had left me, and my youth had been tempered but was not yet gone. The world was confounding, and I could barely reach the stairs. I might do good things, but I had to be careful of failure, that was a word that caught too many off guard.
Now the attempt is to reclaim that bulletproof ego and the bliss of unknowing. It’s certainly hard though, once you know the moment that the magician pulls the dove out of his hidden pocket, it is hard to see the flight the same. Still, you must try.
The nice thing is, there are a plethora of articles from people trying to undo the secret. Someone has written a method to put the cat back in the bag. It’s certainly better than lying to yourself and it’s almost as effective as the real McCoy. It just takes a little bit of perseverance and a good deal of courage. It’s like talking yourself through the trick and envisioning your success. It’s all about embracing the feeling and moving forward buoyed by your heartbeat and not crushed by its pressure in your chest.
The trick may be known but the variation is even better.