Grilled cheese recipe
By Mercedes Deutscher, Social Media Coordinator
2 slices of bread
1/2 block of cheese, sliced
1 tbsp of butter
Stand in front of the refrigerator for two minutes before deciding that you’re not hungry. Repeat consistently over the next 45 minutes.
Finally summon the courage to remove cheese from the refrigerator. Leave the cheese beside the bread on the counter while you read the entire Wikipedia article on Jeffrey Dahmer, Karla Holmolka, and Attack on Titan.
Remember that you left the cheese out. Put back in the refrigerator.
Lay on the couch and do nothing for two hours until your stomach rumbles and reminds you that you’re hungry. Repeat steps one through three.
Spoon butter onto a frying pan. Turn stove onto maximum heat, then turn it down after becoming shocked by how fast the butter melted.
Slice cheese in inconsistently thick slices. Align on top of a slice of bread. Top with second slice of bread.
Place sandwich in frying pan.
Watch a few YouTube videos on your phone of people doing things you aspired to do when you were younger and more optimistic.
Check sandwich. Be disappointed when you realize that the temperature is now too low, and you have a barely grilled slice of bread and un-melted cheese. Turn up temperature by two heat settings.
Check sandwich again to find perfectly grilled slice of bread and almost melted cheese. Flip the sandwich to its un-grilled side.
Turn temperature to maximum heat to expedite grilling process. Push down on sandwich with spatula for good measure.
Try to find your Prozac, and curse yourself for putting the bottle somewhere you cannot find it.
Run back to kitchen after smelling smoke.
Arrive in kitchen as your fire alarm goes off. Turn off heat and move frying pan to different element.
Open all windows. Use cutting board or oven mitt to wave under the fire alarm in an attempt to stop the noise.
Serve burned grilled cheese on the last clean plate in your house. Eat it in your bed because you are hungry, not because you like burned grilled cheese.