My recap of young adult hedonism
By Cazzy Lewchuk, Staff Writer
This summer, I spent $400 of my hard-earned money to attend a music festival several hours away from where I live. It featured a wide selection of artists who I knew one or two songs from on the radio, all in the blazing hot sun complete with $5 cokes and $9 beers. I was assigned to recap the festival for my college newspaper and have managed to write down what little I remember.
Friday, 9 a.m.: Hit the road!
1:30 p.m.: Arrived!
2:58: Arrive in campground after waiting in car lineup and going through security.
2:59: Beer time!
3:02: Beer time!
3:06: Set up camp while drinking beer.
3:30: Finish setting up. Make beer can pyramid.
3:45: Damn it, Billy, you knocked down the pyramid!
4:00: Wander into festival grounds.
4:15: Watch band I haven’t heard of perform.
4:20: Take detour behind the stage for smoke.
4:22: Quickly finish smoke and run away from security.
4:40: Rocking out.
5:01: Beer time!
5:06: See first of many rappers.
5:20: Another smoke break, slightly more discreet.
5:21–7:00: I had another couple beers, but my memory is kind of hazy for some unknown reason at this point.
7:01: MOSH PIT!
7:05: Get in line for first-aid treatment after intense mosh pit.
7:59: Receive first-aid treatment. I only cried a little bit.
8:00: Another beer to take the edge off!
8:30: Take pills Billy gave me that were definitely, probably, some sort of prescription.
8:45: POPULAR DJ IS DOING A SET!
8:49: EY GEY A BRRR, DEEEEEEE DEEEE DEEEEE DEEEEEEE!
8:52: BASS DROP!!!!!!!!!!
8:53-when? (I passed out): I saw another rapper and DJ, I think. I don’t really remember.
Saturday, 10:00 a.m.: Awake. Eat breakfast (Jack Daniels, coffee, granola).
10:07: Quick few rounds of beer pong to liven up the morning.
10:32: Load up on beer and other substances to take into festival. Hooray for 12-pack pouches!
10:35: Security check!
10:37: Go buy beer inside festival to replace the 12 cans security took away from me.
10:52: Help confused and scared lost child find the lost kids tent. It turned out he was Meek Mill and didn’t know which stage he was performing on.
11:00a .m.–2:30 p.m.: See bands I’ve never heard of. Enjoy a lot of beer to make up for it.
2:31: Another visit to the first aid tent for dehydration!
3:30: Exit tent.
3:40: Poutine time! With a side of beer.
3:43: Drop poutine on ground.
3:44: Eat anyway.
3:50: Rocking out to the band.
3:52: I don’t feel well.
3:57: Round three of the first aid tent!
4:30: Lie down in my own tent for a while, unable to enjoy the festival because I ate the poutine that fell on the ground.
4:32: Beer time!
Sunday, 10:00 p.m.: After hours of listening to popular bands, rappers, and DJs from the festival quietly echo in my tent, it’s time to go home. I’m feeling a little better. What a great festival!
10:01: One more beer.
10:07: Okay, one more.
10:45: No memory.