Halloween costumes for the aloof college student

I guess you’ve earned your participation mark
By Richard Dick, Senior Columnist

When high school ended so did any genuine effort or joy you had for Halloween. Once free candy was out of the picture so was any of your interest; also, your mom can’t handmake beautiful costumes for you now that you’ve metamorphized into a too-cool-for-post-secondary-school student. You want the extra credit your quirky prof is going to give out for wearing a costume to class, but you’re reserving the unveiling of your politically topical and totally slutty costume for a collection of selfies on the ’gram. Or perhaps you are attending a Halloween gathering and need to do the bare minimum to avoid “where’s your holiday spirit” jabs. Whatever reason you have for wearing such a crappy costume, the Other Press is here with a costume guide to all the best “it totally qualifies as a costume ” costume options available!

A dishevelled onesie

Onesies are the perfect lazy costumes. If you’ve got a onesie you’re comfortable sleeping in, even better; stains add authenticity to this Halloween costume. This communicates the exact level of where you’ve been at for awhile. Deteriorating butt flaps and moist plush slippers that look like animal feet also add a level of grotesqueness fitting of this spooky holiday. Truly disgusting.

Pun costumes

You probably fancy yourself the Chandler of the group—and everyone agrees with that sentiment. You’re a little bit funny and a little bit lazy, but mostly you just don’t want to completely mail it in. Somehow, you think your “formal apology” qualifies for adult table rights.

Bedsheet-centric costume

Girl put your records on, wash those cum stains gone—and viola! You’ve got yourself a costume.