Missed (textbook) connections

Desperate student seeking the ‘right’ textbook for him

By Chandler Walter, Distribution Manager

I’m looking for a textbook, and none of those dumb online sites ever seem to work. You find what you think to be a nice, good textbook, but then it turns out to be ruined on the inside or completely different than was let on by the pictures. I’m sick of it.

My friends keep telling me, “Oh why don’t you just go out to the bookstores and find one? Isn’t it easier in person?” but they just don’t get it—it isn’t that simple!

So here I am, putting out an ad in the school paper. I need a textbook.

The condition of the cover is not all that important; to me, it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Just as long as it isn’t so gross that I would be ashamed to be seen reading it in public.

I’m alright with it having past owners; in fact, I prefer a book with well-worn pages. A book with experience. I’ve never been into being the first one to open a brand new book; I mean I know some people are into that, just not me.

I need a book that can handle being read late into the night, non-stop, sometimes even into the early light of morning. I could go all night, with the right book.

What it really comes down to though, is I need a book I can trust. A book with references and citations from viable sources; a book that cares about me.

If this seems like a textbook you are trying to sell, meet me in the downstairs library of the Coquitlam campus. I’ll be the one wearing a suit, with a rose in the lapel.