Revelation that Hillary Clinton is kind of okay upsets many

Voters from all sides of the political spectrum appalled by her overall decency

By Rebecca Peterson, Humour Editor

Hillary Clinton is once again caught in a controversy, as audio from a private conversation with campaign donors in February has been made public. The shocking content has disturbed many, as in the recording she expresses her true feelings regarding Bernie Sanders supporters.

To quote: “Some are new to politics completely. They’re children of the Great Recession, and they are living in their parents’ basement. They feel they got their education and the jobs that are available to them are not at all what they envisioned for themselves. And they don’t see much of a future. […] So that is a mindset that is really affecting their politics. And so if you’re feeling like you’re consigned to, you know, being a barista, or you know, some other job that doesn’t pay a lot, and doesn’t have some other ladder of opportunity attached to it, then the idea that maybe, just maybe, you could be part of a political revolution is pretty appealing. So I think we should all be really understanding of that and should try to do the best we can not to be, you know, a wet blanket on idealism.”

Her understanding of the Bernie Sanders phenomenon and general willingness to help younger voters (or at least listen to their issues and concerns) has incurred the wrath of many with base-level typing skills and access to the internet.

“This is BULLSHIT,” said one commenter, username $$GaryJohnson16$$. “She’s so PATRONIZING. You can just hear the PANDERING dripping out of every WORD. Voting third party for SURE. #WhatBernieWouldWant.”

“It’s just further proof that, you know, she’s pulling out every dirty trick in the book to try to get elected,” commented Trump supporter Guy White on his Facebook page. “Trying to get into the minds of voters, figure out what they want—trying to give them what they want. It’s disgusting. Totally should disqualify her from being president.”

Meanwhile, Donald “I moved on her” Drumpf has been tied up this past week in a court case involving the alleged rape of a thirteen-year old girl—oh, well, it looks like we’ve run out of space.