The laziest pizza in the world
By Duncan Fingarson, Senior Columnist
1 whole naan bread, or equivalent, per pizza
1 can pizza sauce
Cheese (mozzarella or cheddar works fine)
1 red bell pepper
1/2 sweet onion
1-2 pepperoni sticks
1/4lb lean ground beef
Other toppings as desired
Ah, pizza. Who doesn’t love it? The problem is that if you want it, you either have to order out or do it yourself. Making dough is a pain, and pizza dough is no exception… but what if I told you that you could just skip that step? How, you may ask? Well fear not, the Lazy Bastard has you covered.
Many grocery stores in the Lower Mainland carry naan bread in the bakery section. If you don’t like naan you could use another flatbread of roughly the same size and thickness. Personally, I like using garlic naan for a little extra flavour.
Spread the sauce on the naan.
Put some olive oil in a frying pan and heat it up. Add ground beef to the pan and cook over medium heat. Don’t forget to season your beef; salt works fine, but if you like you can add whatever herbs you have lying around, or some cayenne for a bit of extra kick.
While the beef is starting to cook, chop up your pepper and onion. Cook that in a separate pan with a little more oil. Put the pepper in first, add the onion after a minute or two, and cook until the onion is just turning translucent. You don’t want it to overcook, so keep an eye on it.
Slice the pepperoni into thin rounds. You can toss those in with the beef, or just put them on the “pizza” now. The beef is done when everything is browned, with no pink visible. Remove from heat, and spread it on the sauce-covered naan with the pepperoni. Put the onions and peppers on top of that, along with whatever other topping you have (pineapple chunks, represent!), and cover with cheese. If you have a cheese-grater you can shred the cheese, but just putting slices on top works fine too.
Finish the pizza off by putting it in a toaster oven (crispy crust) or a microwave (soft crust) for a short time. Eat the whole circle with a knife and fork (or just your hands), because washing pizza cutters is a pain in the ass.