A previously calming practice transforms into an anxiety-filled one in COVID-19 times
By CJ Sommerfeld, Staff Writer
Some things are best left unmagnified to the Zoom room.
While the thought of farting in a pose has forever provided concern for those who practice in-studio yoga, Zoom yoga bestows new fears for yoga practisers and yogis alike. 2020’s pandemic has virtualized much of what we know, and while some of which provides a convenient and comfortable alternative, some other alternatives do not. Zoom amplifies both audio and video, which optimizes information sharing between those on the call. Some things, however, are best left unmagnified to the Zoom room.
Butt sweat in the camera
Sometimes ‘ya just cannot help it but bend over and expose your under-the-cheek sweat to your webcam. Bonus points for wearing a light-coloured, cotton fabric.
Back fat farts against the mat and your video becomes the main Zoom video (so everyone knows that it was you)
It only makes it worse when you try and explain that the noise was not a fart, but instead [insert scientific explanation of noise caused by a sweaty back being lifted from a polyvinyl chloride mat].
The classic yoga fart, this one was an actual fart (your video becomes the main Zoom video again)
Red and veiny post downward-dog face is in the camera
You never knew how ugly you looked while in an inversion until the moment you (and everyone else) saw your reflection on Zoom.
Making the weird faces that you
make when you’re home alone
Note to self: you are not home alone.
Crotch is in the camera
Yes, that is what your crotch looks like in Ananda Balasana.
Illustrations by CJ Sommerfeld