Confessions of a non-fan
I woke up this morning to a flood of news that is usually reserved for natural disasters or the death of a mega-celebrity: NHL hockey is back. SoâŚthis is a good thing, right?
Look, Iâm not really a sports person; while I appreciate that many of you are super excited about watching the Canucks play this spring, I canât help but feel left out because âhockey being backâ brings me about as much excitement as a trip to the gynecologist.
I know that this is Vancouver and that loving hockey (or at least, like, understanding the basic rules of it) is supposed to be something of a given. But, I donât. To me, professional hockey is a confusing thing that rich people do to get richer. Itâs expensive to go to the games, itâs super time-consuming to try to thoroughly follow, and itâs has been the catalyst of two highly destructive riots in our city within my lifetime (I know you canât blame the game for the actions of rioters, but losing hockey games does seem to spark something weird in Vancouver, no?).
Donât hate me, Vancouver! Maybe itâs my brotherâs fault: I canât tell you how many hours of my childhood were spent watching his minor hockey practices and gamesâbut I can tell you that I now have a physical aversion to the aroma of sweaty hockey pads and the sight of an ice rink makes me want to curl into the fetal position to fend off memories of the (literally!) bone-chilling boredom and cold.
In any case, while the NHL may not be my cup of tea, I get that if youâre a fan, this is a happy time for you, and I wish you the best. While I might not watch or understand the game, I do appreciate that some sticks and pucks and ice have the ability to magically bring all sorts of people together under the common goal of, well, goals. So, when the games start, Iâll join yaâll at the barâjust know that Iâll only be there for the beer and socializing. Save your stats for the next girl.
Sharon Miki,
Editor in Chief
