Childproofing restaurants is a rightful discrimination
By Eric Wilkins, Staff Writer
When I manage to scrape together enough money to eat at an establishment free of rodents, there are certain things I expect. One, decent fare. Two, an acceptable level of cleanliness. And three, an enjoyable atmosphere devoid of jarring and unpleasant noises.
Though not stated explicitly, my third point is chiefly directed towards children. āChildren are to be seen but not heardā was a common saying amongst our family gatherings, and I must say that Iām now beginning to see the wisdom of such a comment. And perhaps they shouldnāt even be seen. Nothing ruins a dinner like a toddler bemoaning the loss of their right to free speech when their mother shushes them. Likewise, a babyās wailing impression of Celine Dion doesnāt quite strike the right chord with me. I tend to prefer a subtler type of dinner entertainment.
Thatās not to say I donāt think children are wonderful. Theyāre the future and whatnot. And, since I’m only on the cusp of reaching the magical age of 20 myself, Iām not even sure Iām privileged to speak so haughtily on the subject. But I am. And kids donāt belong in restaurants.
Slight rephrase: kids donāt belong in certain restaurants. Fast food joints and family-style restaurants are, of course, suitable venues for children, and I expect to see them there when I frequent such places. However, if I miraculously find myself in The Keg, the last thing I want to see there is a kid. Thankfully, Iām not alone in this desire. Every now and then you hear a story popping up in the news or on some desperate gossip site about how a mother is complaining about the gross lack of concern shown to her by a restaurant refusing to accommodate her child. The quote is generally along the lines of, āWhy canāt I enjoy a night out too?ā The answer? You can. Go get a babysitter and stop trying to destroy everyone elseās evening. The sense of entitlement some of these parents possess is nothing short of incredible sometimes.
However, the restaurants are also to be held responsible to some degree when oneās meal is disturbed. Unless a clear policy on children exists, the parent can still play the blissfully ignorant card and wander on in. Withholding common aids such as highchairs or a change table in the washroom is playing it a bit coy for my taste. Donāt be cowardly about your rule for children; be open and clear about it. Setting up an obstacle course and then playing dumb is just asking for a fight.
Have kids. Love your kids. But keep them out of my restaurants.
