Apple introduces brand new (version of an old) iPhone

iPhone 6c+s hits shelves

By Chandler Walter, Humour Editor

Apple CEO Tim Cook took to the stage last week to unveil the new design of the iPhone. Thousands arrived for the launch, in the hopes that the new iPhone would make vast improvements on the old body, OS system, and format.

Cook walked on stage to a chorus of applause from the audience, with all eyes on the small display sitting on stage that was covered by a thin white sheet.

“We are innovation!” Cook said, “Apple makes products that people use! A lot! Phones are important, and here at Apple we make sure that those phones are, a reality!”

After a few more minutes of generic phrases and hot-button words like “revolutionary,” “world-class,” and “super wicked,” Cook began a slow-motion walk towards the covered display.

“And now, after years of innovation, tireless hours by our coders and hackers and whatever other nerds are behind all the little computery things, I am pleased to announce the unveiling of the next in the line of Apple iPhones. I give you, the iPhone 6c+s!”

The iPhone 6c+s will give users the opportunity to have an iPhone that is exactly like the old iPhone 6s, iPhone 6, and iPhone 6+, although Cook said during the launch that there are many additions to the newest in the lineup.

“With the iPhone 6c+s, you can own the newest iPhone possible, and be better than your friends who don’t have one,” Cook said. “Also, it comes in many new exciting colours, including white gold, and platinum.”

Probably the most significant change from earlier models has to be the iPhone 6c+s’s size, being even larger than the iPhone 6+. It is around the size of an iPad mini.

Many skeptics have pointed out that the iPhone 6c+s is literally just an iPad mini with calling capabilities, but Cook stated that was not the case: “If it was just an iPad mini, would it come in so many different colours?”

The newest iPhone is currently available for only $850, though a price drop of $50 will be available for all those trading in their old, outdated iPhone 6 models.

The iPhone 6c+s has already sold out at most major chains, but can be ordered online off of the Apple store for an additional cost of only $129.99.