Between The Sheets

Hair: there or bare?

By Viv Steele, Possible Cavewoman

Hair can be a touchy subject for a lot of people, especially the hair down there. Porn stars usually don’t have any; whereas the ladies and gents in your parents’ copy of 1972 seminal sex resource, The Joy of Sex, sport full-on genital carpeting. Pop culture leads you to believe that, if you’re a woman, your vagina needs to be a bare, pristine, hair-free wasteland; a veritable fleshy Slip ’n Slide, the sight of which will cause your partner to want to get all wet and wild up in that.

But the truth is that much like everything else about sex and relationships, the body hair issue is wholly dependent on you, your situation, and your preferences. But since you come here for definitive answers, I’ll try and tackle the age old question once and for all, by imparting upon you my two golden rules.

So here’s Viv Steele’s first golden rule of vulvar landscaping: forget everything you’ve seen on screen. I’ve already discussed the disconnection between porn and reality in this column, but I think for the average youth and college student, the truth can’t be stressed enough. Porn is not real life! So, ladies, when you see those picture-perfect high-def hairless pussies being pounded on RedTube or whatever, don’t feel like you need to have any shame in your game.

Porn actors can afford regular waxing; civilians who attempt to remove the evil hair with traditional (read: cheaper) methods, such as shaving, may find themselves with razor burn and ingrown hairs, which is unsightly, but more to the point, incredibly uncomfortable. Logistics aside, pornography portrays a hyper-sexualized and clearly fake facsimile of sex. Above average penis lengths, aggressively fake breasts, and hairless lady parts can contribute to a low body image, or worse, could encourage us to place expectations on our partners.

Which leads me to my second golden rule: don’t let your partner dictate what you should do with your vagina. Ever. Be open to input, sure, but what you’re sporting under your skivvies is nobody’s business but yours. We live in a society which tries to control people through shame and unspoken codes. I’m a firm believer that mainstream sex advice, mostly garnered from Cosmo, Maxim, and romantic comedies tries to shame women into thinking that bald is beautiful and hairy is hellish. So, do what you will. Do what makes you feel comfortable, but if your partner politely asks you to trim, consider their wishes. And if you dare to bare, then support your local esthetician and get it waxed. Your tender flesh will thank you.