Crime Report: Cereal mascot chase ends in devastation
In recent news this week, various cereal brand mascots have met their fate at the hands of those they were fleeing.
Category: HUMOUR
Canadian Militia takes over cabin in northern BC
A group of wily, red-blooded Canadian boys have recently taken over a cabin in the northern reaches of British Columbia.
Leonardo DiCaprio comes clean about being behind Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream
Martin Luther King Jr.’s thunder was stolen this past Martin Luther King day, as actor Leonardo DiCaprio came forward in a statement explaining that he, in fact, was responsible for the iconic dream.
Douglas College experiences Yellow Friday
Not long after scientists came out with the hotly debated “Blue Monday”—that is, the statistically saddest day of the year—super real scientists decided to put their attentions and resources to solve another one of the universe’s big mysteries: what is the happiest day of the year?
El Harpo speaks
It was January 14. My day was a mess of memos, phone calls, text messages, saying one thing but meaning another, emails stored in draft form, running off for a quick piss, completing email drafts, sending emails, and triple-deleting them.
Academy Awards nomination list released
This year’s Academy Award nominations were announced on January 14, and so far, it appears that these Oscars will be among some of the greatest to date.
In remembrance
Zelda had decided to wake up at 6 a.m. every morning from January 1 and onwards. She had set out a steadfast plan to wake up, make coffee, and write or go for a run every day.
The return of the king
Rock ’n roll fans, octogenarians, and conspiracy theorists around the world rejoiced when Elvis Presley resurfaced for the first time since 1977.
Personal computers in development
Bill Gates, a young Harvard student with a knack for all things technological, has been working at MITS in Albuquerque with Paul Allen to create the world’s first “personal computer.”
New metal band Iron Maiden forms
Iron Maiden played a small venue shortly after forming this past Christmas, and many who were there do not believe that this small time metal band will ever make a name for themselves.