Actor claims to have ‘Inceptioned’ the iconic leader
By Chandler Walter, Humour Editor
Martin Luther King Jr.’s thunder was stolen this past Martin Luther King day, as actor Leonardo DiCaprio came forward in a statement explaining that he, in fact, was responsible for the iconic dream.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to come clean,” DiCaprio stated. “But I figured it was time. It was I who was the mastermind behind the dream that MLK wouldn’t stop going on about. The dream that changed social and cultural norms, and ignited a fire of equality in the hearts of Americans everywhere. It is me that you should be giving your thanks to.”
DiCaprio then spent roughly 45 minutes explaining how the whole dream idea implantation situation really even worked, though did most of it in casual conversation to a friend. The explanation was not the most logical or coherent, but most in the crowd agreed with what he said once he dazzled them with his winning smile.
“So then, when MLK was fast asleep, we snuck seven layers deep into his dream. A dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a…. wait. Yes. Within yet another dream. In one more dream. Once we were that deep into his subconscious, I, Leonardo DiCaprio, forced the idea that all people should be treated equally regardless of race, into the mind of Martin Luther King, Jr. He awoke the next morning to change the world, and for that, you are all welcome.”
DiCaprio was asked how any of this could have been possible—not only because the premise of dream hijacking is, quite frankly, ridiculous—but for the simple fact that DiCaprio would not have even been alive during the time MLK had his dream.
“Ah, you see,” explained DiCaprio, “time works differently in dreams. So while what may have seemed like years between my birth and MLK’s existence, was really just seconds in the fifth level of dream, and once we hit the sixth and seventh, we were so deep in the dream that time started working backwards, and thus I was able to be alive and influence radical cultural change.”
Unfortunately, there were no experts other than the self-proclaimed inception expert DiCaprio himself, so confirmation on whether any of this really adds up is still to be determined.
DiCaprio was adamant that he didn’t want to be bestowed the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts, but made sure to add: “An Oscar would more than suffice. Thanks. And you’re all welcome by the way, world.”