A guide to the Super Bowl for non-sports types
By Eric Wilkins, Sports Editor
Get those engines revved (read: chips, dip, and excessive quantities of beer), sports fans. It’s that glorious time of year when football reigns supreme and it’s socially acceptable to remain glued to the tube enjoying 300-pound men with questionable college degrees hit each other for hours on end. It’s Super Bowl time.
But wait, the Super Bowl isn’t just for sports fans! It’s an event. A spectacle. Something that can be appreciated by all. That’s right, even those of you who conjure up a most distressing image when someone drops the line, “toss the pigskin,” can partake in Super Bowl Sunday and have a good time doing it. Most everyone knows how to have a good time, but just in case you need some tips on how to do that specifically on February 2, check out some tips below.
Booze. An obvious point, but at a college publication I imagine few will take issue with it being emphasized anyway. The Super Bowl is a social occasion, and, as such, is a perfect excuse to have the gang over, hang out, and down a few brews. There’s no shortage of drinking games to spice up (or simply, spice) the game, either. While there’s always the regular drinking whenever someone drops a pass, picks up a first down, and so on, Super Bowl-specific games could be taking a drink whenever a Manning other than Peyton is mentioned by the commentators or Richard Sherman is discussed.
Food. Again, easy one here, but this is a prime opportunity to be a major glutton. Cover every inch of your table with some kind of artery-clogging snack and go at it. Chips? Sure. Dip. Of course. Quiche? How could you not? Quiche dipped in chips? Go hog wild, it’s heart-attack-inducing-food Christmas.
Commercials. In every other situation, people try to avoid commercials like the plague. But on Super Bowl Sunday, for some, commercials are the star attraction. Companies know that a large audience will tune in (last year had nearly 110-million in the US alone) and put some time and effort into making their normally annoying bits as viewer-friendly as possible. Whether it’s worth the $4-million price tag for a 30-second slot is up for debate, but the entertainment value sure isn’t. Classics such as the Budweiser Clydesdales will always be there, but it’s always interesting to see what other amusing clips come up.
Halftime show. This is where the NFL really tries to expand their viewership. Let’s face it, no real football fan would be caught dead celebrating the fact that Bruno Mars will be one of the performers (the Red Hot Chili Peppers are there as well). But even those who have no appreciation for the Hawaiian should tune in. The halftime show is as much about what could happen as it is about who’s singing. Who can ever forget 2004’s titillating Nipplegate when Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction” made headlines for weeks? I don’t think (hopefully) anything similar will go down this year, but hey, it’s live TV—anything can happen.
And just because it wouldn’t be a sports piece without some real sports, the Seahawks are going to take it. Peyton Manning will be shut down by the masters of holding and Russell Wilson and Marshawn Lynch will tear up the Broncos D. 24-14 ‘Hawks. You heard it here first.
