Not this bitch again…
By Isabelle Orr, Entertainment Editor
It was a sad day at Other Press offices when Isabelle Orr, resident Entertainment Editor and self-proclaimed “funny gal,” ran out of good, original ideas.
“I can’t believe it’s finally happened,” said Orr, who looked great in a classic colour blocking outfit and who had just gotten a fresh haircut, which none of you noticed. “I thought I would be able to come up with classic, original content every single week and it would never get stale or overplayed.”
Orr, who is a Sagittarius and therefore lacks direction and focus, pitched an idea to her editors that she had already written.
“What’s worse is that the article wasn’t even that funny,” Assistant Editor Caroline Ho said. “It had the classic Isabelle themes: Aggression towards men, pop culture throwbacks, and personal references that only she would understand. Really basic stuff.”
But why has Orr been searching for new material?
“After switching medication and finding healthy coping mechanisms for my latent anxiety and depression, I found there was little else to complain about,” Orr said. “Finding mental peace (as fleeting as it may be) made it harder to be funny. Plus, I finally got my bangs to work, so that helped a lot too.”
Mara Gurr and Guille Caparros, close friends of Orr who have been written without their consent into several articles, spoke to Other Press reporters.
“Though it seems like Isabelle is on a stable path right now, I guarantee she’ll be back to her old neurotic ways in a short while,” Gurr said. “It’s only a matter of time.”
“I give her two weeks,” said Caparros.
Other seemingly random life changes, like taking on three part-time jobs, DJing, and entering a stable relationship have torn Orr’s focus away from making self-deprecating jokes.
“I just don’t have time for that anymore,” she said, while attempting to pull a shot of espresso, sign up for a Pilates class, commit to a tight five at a comedy show, and sell her clothes on Etsy all at the same time. “I really have my hands full with 10 to 17 unconnected activities at any given moment.”
Orr, who is heading back to school in September, reasons that this drastic change will help refine her comedy writing.
“I can make more school jokes, about like, homework and stuff like that,” Orr said. “Or what about people clicking pens during exams? Or watching too much Netflix during exam time? That’s funny, right?”
After her interview, reporters confirmed that she had already written both of the articles above.