Just use the stairs
By Duncan Fingarson, Contributor
Elevators are great, I get it. Who wants to walk up four flights of stairs to get to their next class when there’s a convenient machine that can do it for you? There is, however, an epidemic in this college. There are far too many people who use the elevator to go exactly one floor. When you do this, you slow the trip down for everyone, and what could have been a quick hop from floor one to floor four takes forever because on every floor one person gets in, looks at the control panel, and hits the unlit button for the next floor up.
Now, to be fair, I make exceptions. If you’re physically incapable of using the stairs due to a disability, don’t worry; we’re cool. I’m not talking about people who can’t use the stairs. I’m talking about otherwise perfectly healthy individuals who just don’t feel like it.
What’s more, I can’t figure out why these people don’t feel like it. Maybe it’s the hill outside? I walk up the same hill, and I still take the stairs. There are no hills where I work, and people do the same thing there. I’m forced to conclude that they’re just incredibly lazy, and hate efficiency.
It’s a lot faster to go up one floor using the stairs, and it might even be faster for two floors. For three, though, it would be faster to grab the elevator. Or at least it would be if those one-floor people weren’t constantly getting on and off, causing the elevator to grind slowly to a halt on every single floor.
Most of the elevators at Douglas College aren’t high-speed, and when you’ve only got a few minutes left to get to your class, you don’t want to have to wait for them. You will have to wait for them, though. You will suffer as I suffer, as a small handful of people once again step in on floor two, consider for a moment, and hit the button for floor three.
The next time you need to go up one floor, and you have the option to take the elevator or the stairs, I implore you, take the stairs. Save my sanity. Save the sanity of all students who feel as I do. Or don’t, and be one of those terrible, awful people who go up only one floor in the elevator. Just know that if you do it on an elevator I am on, I will silently judge you for it.