Stop promoting this disgusting abomination
By Cazzy Lewchuk, Opinions Editor
I like pineapple. It’s good in a fruit salad, dried, or fresh. Fruit is a delicious, sweet food that is not intended to be mixed with savoury substances, like a pizza.
The recent debate about pineapple on pizza has caused mixed reactions within the population, with divisions perhaps more hotly contested than any major political issue (yes, even Donald Trump). Some people are wrong, misguided fools who believe pineapple is actually considered an appropriate ingredient to put on a food that does not traditionally involve fruit. Other, more rational people understand that the sweetness of the berry (yes, pineapples are considered berries) creates a disgusting contrast to the hot meat, cheese, and sauce that most pizzas get their primary flavouring from.
While most pizza toppings end up on a variety of pizzas, it is very rare to see pineapples as a topping on anything other than Hawaiian style. You won’t find pineapple on any “meat lovers” or “deluxe” flavours. Personally, I’m not even a fan of vegetables on pizza. However, I understand that something like peppers or onions enhances the flavour and spices present in the pie. They complement the savoury taste, as opposed to dominating and ruining it with sweetness.
The main issue is pairing it with the cheese and tomato sauce. “Hawaiian” pizza comes from the Hawaiian tradition of mixing pork with the native-grown pineapple when cooking, to enhance the juices of a succulent pig. This is much different than eating pineapple directly with bites of mozzarella and a thin pizza spread. Eating pineapple with bits of cheese would be considered disgusting, but when we mix it with a pizza and pieces of ham, suddenly it has become normalized.
The Hawaiian is never anyone’s top choice for pizza. We can all remember parties where pizza is ordered: pepperoni and cheese are always the crowd pleasers. Hawaiian can often be found in the mix, but it’s usually avoided by many. Most people passionately defend their pineapple pizza choice, but they’re still wrong. They’re in the minority, but they’re just quite vocal about it.
It may be a personal choice, but pineapple does not, fundamentally, belong on a pizza. Fruit in general does not belong on a savoury dinner menu item featuring meats and cheeses. You wouldn’t put pineapple on a hamburger or alongside some bacon, either. Very few innovative or inventive pizzas contain pineapple. Late-night pizza places that sell by the slice rarely have more than one kind of pie containing an actual fruit on the top. Just as strawberries or bananas aren’t found on pizza, adding pineapple juices to the blend of flavours is just plain wrong.