Grow up and out of the 2000s, people
By Isabelle Orr, Entertainment Editor
As someone with internet access, I have seen (read: been bombarded with) endless memes, videos, stories—you name it, I’ve seen it—featuring Smash Mouth’s “All Star.” At a recent birthday party I attended, the host played the song no less than three times.
I even heard it played at a straight club (quelle horreur!), further solidifying my personal opinion that I never again want to hear Steve Harwell scream about breaking the mould while I’m trying to bump n’ grind. I solely “go out” to listen to Euro-trance, astral project into the Milky Way, and dance like an inflatable tube man, not to hear the same tired, old song played repeatedly.
The point I’m trying to make here is that “All Star” simply isn’t funny anymore. In its heyday (think Vine era) it was a fun song that everyone knew well enough to sing along to. Now? You’re unoriginal if you sing it at karaoke—that is, if you arrive before the 16 other people who have already requested it.
It’s time for people still desperately clinging onto “All Star” to find another joke to beat into the ground.
“But what about Shrek?!” all the people in the audience yell. Yes, when I first watched it as a seven-year-old, Shrek was a good movie. However, let me share this morsel of advice: You’re allowed to watch other movies. No, you’re not locked in a permanent state of stasis and you can, in fact, watch other movies that you didn’t first see in elementary school.
Anyway, as long as we’re talking about iconic songs from the Shrek movie soundtrack, let’s not forget the “Hungry Like the Wolf” Duran Duran cover sung by the Three Little Pigs in Far Far Away Idol (a Shrek deep cut). Maybe everyone who so wittily puts “All Star” in the Spotify queue should examine why they cling to the soundtrack of their childhood, consuming the same bits of pop culture over and over.
But aren’t I being a killjoy, you ask? Shouldn’t people be allowed to have fun? Of course! To lighten the mood, I offer a list of fun (and timeless) joke-esque songs:
“Shoes” by YouTuber Liam Kyle Sullivan
Have you listened to this lately? The song has a kind of house beat, and the music video is strangely avant-garde (very ahead of its time!). Kelly’s decision to get what she wants is a motto for these take-action times. Well done, Kelly!
“My Neck, My Back” by Khia
A LGBTQ+ anthem, this song is mandatory at all lesbian functions and must be played or else all participants have to go directly to jail. See also: “My Neck, My Mii,” a fun mashup that works surprisingly well.
“Like a Surgeon” by Weird Al Yankovic
A true bop. I will defend this song to the grave.