We want everything but drama
By Tania Arora, Staff Writer
Gone are the days of old-school romance. The current generation of young adults often want to satisfy their physical and emotional needs whenever they want and wherever they want, without having to commit. No matter how long they have been going on with their “arrangements,” they are not interested in commitment. And by “arrangement,” I mean that special type of relationship where one is dating and not dating at the same time.
Many want a five-course meal served to them when they too lazy to even pour themselves a glass of water. They would go to a restaurant, order what they like, get done with it and leave. No effort and no obligation to get what they desire.
My really close friend has been involved with a guy for two years. I asked her during their first few months together about what they “were,” i.e. were they just seeing each other, or have they started dating? At the beginning, she just said that they were friends with benefits (FWB). Two years down the line, this is still the term they use—but they act exactly like every other couple. They hang out together very often, do day-to-day stuff as a duo, and are all mushy-mushy in public. There are examples of relationships like this everywhere nowadays; I wouldn’t be discussing this if it was just one instance.
Sex before dating used to be the norm for relationships, now the current popular trend is sex without dating. People want companionship without having to carry the emotional baggage of others. But where does this lead to? Are we just trying to fulfil our physical needs, unwilling to invest time building a relationship? Does this make this generation self-centred? When I asked my friend if she and her FWB have ever discussed the scope of their relationship, and she said that they don’t want to ruin what they have so they never asked each other about it.
This makes me think, is this generation too scared to talk about relationships? Is it the fear of rejection or heartbreak so great that we don’t want to even risk anything? It seems that in most of the cases, it’s not just one, but both people who are facing these insecurities.
But what are the boundaries? Does it mean we can see someone else or not? Can we be involved with someone else or not? Should we act like we are okay if we see the other person with someone else? I mean, why is this so complicated? I wonder where this current trend will lead many people in relationships, and how positive or negative an effect this new culture of sex will have in the future.