Silly ways to celebrate Canada Day like a true Canadian

Fun facts, weird laws, and plain ole’ Canadian glory
By Sonam Kaloti, Arts Editor

Grab a good ole’ Ziplock bag and your disgusting, repulsive milk carton and pour that baby in. BAM! You’ve got yourself an eastern relic.

Canadians have some very strange traditions and inside jokes. This Canada Day, try celebrating Canada in all its pure weirdness.

To start, let’s talk about food! Did you know Canadians eat 55 percent more Kraft Macaroni & Cheese than Americans? Not to mention our love of ketchup chips, poutine, and the beautiful clam juice cocktail we call a Caesar. A fun game to play on Canada day would be to eat every Canadian-centric food there is (including a Kinder Surprise, just to relish in being able to). You can crush some ice and make some Montreal-inspired maple syrup taffy for dessert!

If you live in an area where you can buy and drink bagged milk, great! Open your fridge and marvel at that beauty. If you don’t, however, who’s stopping you from making some yourself? Grab a good ole’ Ziplock bag and your disgusting, repulsive milk carton and pour that baby in. BAM! You’ve got yourself an eastern relic.

Next, spend some time with your friend who insufferably believes that Canadian bills don’t smell like maple syrup, grab all your cash, scratch at those puppies until your fingernails hurt, then shove them up your friend’s nose. Anyone who thinks the bills are not scratch and sniff and maple syrup scented are simply wrong and deserve to know it.

Wow, that last one was rather stressful and emotionally exhausting. How about a Tim Hortons coffee break? Order a double-double, eh? It’s aboot time for your caffeine rush.

Speaking of a rush, have you ever wanted to be a criminal? Well, there’s a lot of weird Canadian laws that you might break accidently—or on purpose. Not that I’m encouraging that. For one, it’s illegal to pay in too many coins. An example being that you can’t pay over $5 in nickels, and the limit for loonies is $25. It’s also illegal to remove a bandage in public.

Another possible activity for Canada Day is a scavenger hunt for a penny. Note that while you can ransack your own piggy bank for this one, it would be a lot more challenging to play it out of the house. If you make it a group competition, set a winner’s prize such as a—dare I say it—maple syrup taffy? Or maybe you can take turns and apologize to the winner for every tiny misfortune you’ve ever caused them.

There’s a million silly and strange ways to celebrate Canada Day like a true Canadian, so get out there, double down on your bloody Caesar, and go ride a moose.