The before time of Instagram

‘What once was is now lost, for none now live who remember’

By Chandler Walter, Humour Editor

It began with the changings of the great social media platforms of power. First, the Book of Faces, changing its format—its very being—to satisfy the Creators. Next, the Birds of Twitter, changing to a “While you were away” type of tune. And lastly, the fabled runes of Instagram, that which held out for so long, lost its chronological ordering for an algorithm of fire. One by one they fell into darkness. One by one, they were consumed.

But there were some who resisted.

A last alliance of Tweeters and Instagrammers, bound together by fate, destiny, and the will to go on, passed a ground-breaking petition to stop the darkness and to leave the realms of the Internet the same as they had always been. By the thousands, they signed, and on an obscure corner of the Internet, they shared the petition for the fate of Instagram.

Victory was near, but the power of trendy new updates could not be undone.

The great creators controlled all, and before long, the battle for chronological ordering was over. Hackers, coders, and hashtaggers were thwarted, their keyboards broken in two, and their stories ended.

It was not long until many had forgotten the before time, when Instagram pictures would be ordered based on time of posting rather than pictures that had been liked. The people fell in line, and agreed to view content laid out in a less-than-satisfactory way. The world had fallen into chaos, and ads controlled the content that was to be viewed.

Young, innocent accounts were born into a world that did not remember what once was. The great ordering of lore was cast to the wind, and a confusing—and often mistaken—algorithm had taken its place.

Old men tell tales now of what once was. Some even speak of a time when there were no ads or parents on Facebook, but those stories cannot be believed by the Instagrammers of today.

Many hold out hope that a new social media platform will emerge, a saviour, to cleanse the accounts of their sins and create a world free of ads, changes, or uncles sharing mildly racist memes.

For that day, we wait. For as long as some still remember the way things were, the Internet may know peace.