How online dating has ruined a man’s ability to engage women publicly
By Patrick Vaillancourt, News Editor
There was a time when there wasn’t all that much to dating. The process was simple: approach someone, introduce yourself, and begin a social interaction. It’s with a heavy heart that I report to you that those days are gone. Social media and online dating sites, such as eHarmony and Match.com, have effectively made the simple act of engaging someone a setup for failure.
In an age of political correctness, this is particularly difficult for men. A man approaching a woman can be regarded as—and is, in some cases—an unwanted approach or, in extreme cases, harassment. On the other hand, men consider being approached by a woman as something to be proud of.
Men are simpler beasts, and so I have chosen to focus on “men seeking women.”
As social media becomes increasingly prominent in our lives, we become more awkward in live social situations. It seems that asking someone out for coffee or on a date has become easier to do via Facebook or Twitter than it is in a real-life encounter. In addition, meeting people online through well-established dating sites has become that much more complicated for men.
Consider this: a typical, single man is approached at a pub by an attractive woman who shows some interest—the man is most likely thinking about buying her a drink and engaging with her socially. On the flip-side, a man who approaches the same woman in the same pub is likely going to get turned away. Why? Well, because the woman knows absolutely nothing about the approaching male. Some exceptions apply to the über rich and those who look influential or powerful, and such is the influence of online dating sites.
A simple eHarmony profile for someone looking for other singles contains a whopping 400 questions. The answers to these questions formulate an algorithm which enables the website to match one up with potential mates. When did looking for a life partner become an exercise akin to taking a final exam?
Other sites, such as Craigslist personals, don’t provide a sufficient and free alternative to online dating, unless you like women who start off with all the things men don’t want to hear. “I’m not perfect” or “I’m getting out of a bad relationship” are not the types of sales pitches people want to hear, yet are all over Craigslist.
One could argue that both social media and the online dating world have each contributed to a collective skepticism around dating, cohabitation, and marriage. Our grandparents never had to contend with divorce rates as high as 50 per cent, yet the most wired generation ever does—and there are no indications that the trend will stop at that.
Everyone agrees that technology has allowed us to advance as a society in immeasurable ways. That being said, there are some things that technological advances should not be a part of—one of those includes matters of the heart.
