Low-effort food that doesn’t suck
By Duncan Fingarson, Senior Columnist
2 cans crab meat
1 jar alfredo sauce
1 box pasta of choice
1 red bell pepper (diced)
1/2 sweet onion (diced)
2 cloves garlic (minced)
1 small bag peeled frozen pre-cooked shrimp
½ cup milk
½ cup water
Salt to taste
This pasta is both delicious and low effort, perfect for the lazy bastard’s kitchen. It’s a bit light on the vegetable matter, so you may wish to toss together a salad as an accompaniment.
To make it, you’ll need two pots: A smaller one for the sauce, and a bigger one for the pasta. You’ll also need a frying pan, a cutting board, a big knife, and something to stir with. We want limited cleanup as well as limited effort.
To start, boil some water in the big pot. Add a little salt to prevent it from boiling over, and a drizzle of oil to stop the noodles from sticking together.
While you’re waiting for the water to boil, pour the jar of alfredo into the smaller pot and set to medium heat. You don’t need to cook this, just warm it up. If you want to stretch the sauce a little further and lower the fat content, you can add a bit of milk to it.
Heat some olive oil in your frying pan. Put the onion in the pan first, then add the garlic and pepper after 2-3 minutes. If you have some herbs lying around, you can add those for some extra flavour.
The water should be boiling by now. If it is, add the box of pasta. Pasta cooks fast, so keep an eye on it. Open the tins of crab, scrape those into the sauce. If you have shrimp, you can add those here too. The vegetables are done when the onion is semi-translucent. Toss those in as well, and stir the sauce up. Remove from heat and check the pasta—the best way is to taste some. It’s done when still slightly firm to the bite.
Drain the pasta, pour the sauce on, and serve.