The propane man speaks

Dale ain’t the brightest but even he can see that this doesn’t make sense; Bill doesn’t have it all sorted out but at least he can see a bad track when we are on one and even Boomhauer talks more sense than anything there saying on the news.

A good kick in the ass would sort this out, I tell you what
By Tariq Ghanzi, Contributor

In this trying time, I find comfort in knowing that I sell propane and propane accessories. Yup, propane, is a good clean burning all American energy source with a multitude of uses and benefits.

Like all real American men, the knowledge that I get up every day and work hard to provide for my family despite my useless son and defective niece makes me happy. But Goddammit if our president doesn’t get his act together and do something about gas prices I’m gonna have to kick someone’s ass.

He can’t be out here saying Russia is the reason gas prices are high. Dangit, I’m from Texas, the Lonestar state. We make energy and we keep America going. There is no way that our state can’t keep this country going till kingdom come, I tell you what. A little bit of drilling and some good ole fashion American ingenuity is all it’s gonna take.

Now, my daddy raised me to respect the President even if I don’t like what he’s up to but this one is making it real hard to do. I hope it’s them sissy long-haired, liberal boys he’s got around him. If you ask me, a couple of good ass-kickings and a few men like me could turn this whole thing around, I tell you what. Who the president has around him now are the type of people I keep away from Bobby. Always begging for something and never making anything on their own. The type of people who will never know the pleasure of a good beer after a hard day’s work selling propane and propane accessories.

Dale ain’t the brightest but even he can see that this doesn’t make sense; Bill doesn’t have it all sorted out but at least he can see a bad track when we are on one and even Boomhauer talks more sense than anything there saying on the news. The whole thing needs a good kick in the ass to straighten it out, I tell you what.

Anyways, I’m gonna stop writing now because the guys are waiting for me and Luanne keeps asking if I’m writing poetry. I just hope that someone can turn this beautiful country back around before it gets too bad.