The sour taste of lemons

Overcoming adversity may require more than a squeeze

By Margaret Matthews, Contributor

Life is full of things that we cannot change. It could be our racial origin, and whether we belong to a visible minority or a marginalized group. Or we might be born in adversity, whether we have disabilities, or we are suffering from some other disadvantages like losing a limb, being born mute, or having a mental disorder.

Yet life is also full of things that we can change. That might be an abusive relationship or living with a roommate who does not cooperate. If you are unfairly treated or taken advantage of, choosing to continue in this relationship or not will determine whether you are an assertive person, or a passive person who allows others to continue using and abusing you.

The wisdom to know the difference will depend on you, but there is help. Perhaps you might want to get counselling from an experienced and reliable professional, who will either advise the correct course of action to take, or direct you to another source who might be able to help you further. Your mental, emotional, physical, and psychological health and well-being are important in order to live a productive and fulfilling life.

If you find yourself in a quagmire and cannot get out of your rut, seek counselling from a professional and follow through with the advices or suggestions given to you. Itā€™s not advisable to discuss the matter with a peer, friend, or someone on your own level of understanding, as they are neither professionally trained nor experienced enough to help you with your personal problems. The professional is trained to respect your privacy and keep the matter confidential, and not spread your story around to cause you any embarrassment or breach of trust.

But that doesnā€™t mean all challenges require the help of others.

I recall one time when I took a vacation. I arrived at my destination and discovered that my suitcase, although checked in at the airport, wasnā€™t loaded onto the plane. I only had my purse which contained my passport, airline ticket, and travellerā€™s cheques. All my clothes and personal belongings were in that one suitcase that was left behind. I was annoyed over the airlineā€™s negligence, but had to make the best of the situation.

I went to a store and bought some new clothes and toiletries that I needed. When I got back home the airline called to inform me that my suitcase was with them, and apologized for their inadvertence. Life continues.

The moral of the story is that the attitude we take and our reaction to any given situation are of the utmost importance. We travel on a turbulent sea with billows and waves splashing around us from every angle. No point in fretting that life has handed you a lemon. Donā€™t play the blame-game, or point the finger at others, or complain that you are in this mess because of someone else. Make the best of the situation, no matter what situation you find yourself in.