To catch a predator: Men and women

The embarrassing way certain guys act around women

By Alex Stanton, Staff Writer

I’d like to address a certain group of men. I’m about to chuck out a scathing criticism, so I have to clear some things up: I am totally on your side. That’s not to say I’m anti-feminist or anything, but even if I understand why women are weary of unknown men approaching them, I truly believe most of you are good dudes who approach women with good intentions (or, at the very least, fully legal intentions). Hell, I’ll go so far as to say that pickup artists—who’ve been sullying their reputation by harassing uninterested women in frightful, downright disturbing ways—have got the right idea. A lot of them are taking advice from their instructors to have confidence and not be afraid of what women think of them. Yet they will still go to shameful lengths just for the slightest chance at some weekend pussy.

Let me address the ladies: here’s a bit of insight into the male mind. Say you’ve got a group of soldiers in a trench during World War I. The squad, for reasons only God knows, is ordered to run from one trench to the next. During the sprint, they will be dodging buried mines and mounted machine guns. They are told that there is literally a 99 per cent chance they’ll die. You know what every single one of those boys thinks?

“I’m not worried. How can I be worried? I’m going to make it. I’m going to be that one per cent.”

This situation can easily be applied to the way men interact with women. Even after a woman they’re interested in—whether it’s a stranger at the bar or someone with whom he’s neck-deep in the friend zone with— says “no” to them or expresses complete disinterest, they still think they’ve got a chance. They’ll give it their all, no matter the extremity or the cost.

That really pisses me off. But it pisses me off for completely selfish reasons. It’s not because I’m into feminism—of course, I believe in equality for all. Nor is it because I think women are all fragile creatures who need protection from men by men. Nope. The only reason it gets my goat is simple: as a man, it makes me look bad.

Since becoming an adult, I’ve become aware that women are absolutely justified in staying hyper-vigilant around strange men. Hearing about a man tell my girlfriend that he thinks her chest is exposed while I grab a drink for two minutes is unacceptable. Seeing a guy from across the bar start licking his lips and pointing at a friend of mine at our table, who subsequently threatened me for calling him out on his trash, is unacceptable.

You’re only as good as the company you keep, boys. I’m not saying stick up for every single woman you pass by on the street who looks like she might have a problem, but if serious sexual harassment is going on and you’re convinced that you can do it safely, speak up. The way some men act towards women when flirting—especially in club culture—is just beyond embarrassing. Have a little bit of self-respect and act like a grown man. I’m sick of men, but mostly I don’t want to be pegged as a possible rapist because of some bad apples.